Sunday, October 2, 2011

Stage Fright

So, I have a new job.  Yeah me!  And, like most jobs, you need to go through the pre-employment stuff.  Since I will be working at a hospital, I needed to get a TB test.  Very interesting, but off topic.  This blog is about the dreaded urine test!

A little background about me, I have the bladder of peanut.  I am ALWAYS going to the bathroom!  I see water, I got to pee.  I hear water, I got to pee.  Someone mentions water, I got to pee.  I think you get the picture.  So there I am in the office getting ready to give my sample, and guess what.  Yep, nothing.  I could not believe it.  REALLY!  This never happens.  So the lovely lady in the office offers me to sit and drink some water.  Cool, I can do that.  A half an hour passes, and I think I'm ready, after drinking SIX glasses of water.

I am shown to the room, and guess what.  That's right...NOTHING!  I am so embarrassed.  They said that it happens all the time, but I am doubtful.  So, there i am again in the waiting room downing water like crazy.  I probably drank another six glasses.  I look up at the clock and realize that I have been there for almost TWO hours, and I needed to leave to get me niece from school.  I ask if there was anyway to come back on Monday, when I get the results from the first round of the TB test.  They all start running around like chickens without heads.  It's not like I'm applying for the secret service or something.

The clock is ticking, and it will take me about 15 minutes to get my niece.  So, I decided to try one more time.  I felt no urge to go at all.  I'm in the bathroom, and guess what.  I WENT!  I was so surprised.  So I finish, and I go to open the door, and the entire office starts clapping.  Apparently, it doesn't happen that often.  Talk about be mortified.  So I get in my car, and guess what.  I have to go AGAIN!  I pick up niece, only a few minutes late.  We drive home and we race to the bathroom.  She locks the door and won't let me in.  I'm telling you, it almost came out my ears!!

Needless to say, I went to the bathroom all night!  Any stories of embarrassment out there?

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